Crabwalking to a Brooklyn Apartment (from Carly)

The end of the year can feel like a big sigh of relief. You’ve been breathing in everything that’s happening every single day.

Carly apartment 1

For me, 2019’s big breath included: piloting Crabwalk’s 5-Week Program for the first time, saying goodbye to and eulogizing my grandfather, coaching and meeting with hundreds of MIT student entrepreneurs, traveling back to Buenos Aires, starting this Crabwalk blog...oh wait, this all actually happened in the first quarter of 2019, so you get the idea and I won’t go on! 

I spent the last two weeks of 2019 trying to exhale all of the year’s happenings, out. One thing I sought to be better at in 2019 was leaning on and sharing with others. I’ve always been pretty good at sharing what’s happening for me professionally... accomplishments, struggles, interests. Sharing about what’s happening for me personally or emotionally has not been my thing. My parents and husband will back up this claim.

But, I co-founded a business that teaches others how to lean on the people that are in their lives. So, I decided I better get better at that habit - that I’ve so successfully employed throughout my professional life - to my personal life too.

In addition to shaming myself into this exercise because of the business I co-founded, I also know that this is vital because our personal lives are really not linear. “Life” comes at each of us, relentlessly, all of the time and I am no exception to that rule! 

Carly apartment 2

So, what changed for me in 2019 because of this new focus? A lot! Taking steps throughout the past year to figure out what was blocking me from reaching goals, identify what or who could help me get past whatever was blocking me, and asking the people in my life for help, allowed me to take small exhales throughout the year. Exhaling more frequently makes me feel less alone, like I can drop-kick my anxieties away, and it turns out, get the things I want, faster!

I’ll let you in on one personal example from my 2019. My husband and I bought an apartment(!) last summer. It took us 11 months of searching to finally have an offer accepted on a place that we loved. Over those 11 months, we both got a lot better at leaning on the people in our lives which absolutely contributed to us successfully acquiring our current home.

Our community shared their own harrowing apartment searching experiences (turns out, everyone goes through the same hellish experience - we weren’t alone!), convinced me to up our final bid by 5%, and once we won the bid, made the mortgage and moving process a bit less painful because I crowdsourced just about every vendor we used (there are so many options - how would you even pick otherwise!).

Carly Apartment 3

The 5-step Crabwalk framework will absolutely help you move forward in your career when you are looking to make a transition, even if the road isn’t clear. But, it’s also a handy tool to keep yourself supported and achieving in your personal life too.

Here’s to many mini exhales in 2020.

Easy ways to nurture your connections over the holidays (even if you’re not in the mood)

It’s December 19th. I’m guessing you’re in some alternate reality where time has sped up and slowed down at the same time. Half of your friends and coworkers are already gone. You’re buying presents on Amazon between meetings (or maybe during your meetings). Grabbing dinner with people who are surprisingly in town. And generally looking forward to something - whether that's time away, or time right where you are.

Whether you’re still working full time or already checked out, this time of year is great for nurturing the people that matter most to you, without much effort.

Here are some ways you can nurture your connections over the holidays with more or less effort, depending on your mood. 

  • Do a fireside chat with a family member. This time of year, you have an excuse to not think about your search or your job until the new year. So take advantage and really be with the people you cherish most. Maybe even ask them a question you wouldn’t otherwise ask them (“What's one thing you're really proud of from this last year?” “Do you have a secret dream you haven't told me about?" "When we grow old, can we live in a retirement home together and start a dance group?")

  • While you’re watching reruns of Friends before it comes off Netflix (just me?), go through your texts and send a happy holidays wish to everyone you’ve texted in the last few months. Maybe even go back a year or two. You can always start with a great Bitmoji or gif and then add a personalized twist for each person. It’s also a great way to quickly reconnect with people who otherwise may not be around in your day-to-day.

  • Send simple holiday cards. Whether you mass send cards of your kids via Shutterfly or handwrite a few vintage postcards, they’ll be warmly appreciated. 

  • Send out some handmade gifts. Maybe you’ve refined a creative skill over the last year and have some time over the holidays to create some handmade gifts. The beauty of a handmade gift is that they don’t have to be expensive and can mean a lot to the person who receives it. People don’t often receive handmade gifts anymore so this can go a long way.

  • Make a shortlist of the top 5 people who really made a difference for you this year and tell them. Maybe someone made a connection that landed you a new gig. Or you had one memorable, eye opening conversation that really settled things for you. Whatever it is, write them a note / email or call them. Think for a minute about the impact they had on you. Then communicate that genuinely to them. People often don’t know how helpful they are and it’s always wonderful to hear.

  • Jump on Skype with your long distance friends. Maintaining friendships with those who live on the other side of the country, or even on the other side of the world, can be difficult a the best of times. So try making the time to have a quick catch up with your long distance friends on Skype this holiday. What better way to take a step back from the holiday madness than catching up with an old friend. Feel to make a “happy hour” call if that strikes your fancy.

  • Host a holiday open house with PJs allowed. A lot of people may be hanging around town and looking to lay low. Set up an open house at your place. You can light some candles, get some holiday-themed snacks, put on a good 80’s movie, pull out some games, or just offer your couch for anyone looking to read a book.

How do you nurture naturally during the holidays? Comment below and tell us!

In the meantime, have a wonderful rest of the year and start to 2020. 

Want to download our guide on how to nurture your connections over the holidays?

Tactical Tips: How to Nurture More Relationships, Faster.

As we’ve shared with you in an earlier blog post, you probably know more people than you think. After spending just a few minutes building your Crabwalk roster, you’ll quickly prove this to yourself. 

What do you do after identifying all of these awesome people in your life? Build and maintain strong relationships with your roster. We call this NURTURING! 

Nurturing everyone on your roster, all the time might feel overwhelming if you are thinking about nurturing each relationship, one at a time. But, what if you could reach 50 people on your roster with a single (not obnoxious) email? Enter the low-tech, super-efficient listserv!

I had the privilege of working under Mayor Michael Bloomberg at the New York City Economic Development Corporation (NYCEDC). In my experience, the public sector is one of the most fun environments to work within because you’re all there for a common cause and mission, as opposed to just a paycheck. My two years there resulted in some of the deepest professional relationships that I have, many of which have blossomed into great friendships too.

Like any organization you move on from, over time you get to watch your ex-colleagues take on new and exciting challenges, and route for each other in a very different capacity than you do while you’re colleagues.

My ex NYCEDC colleagues have gone onto do unbelievable things including working within large tech companies, political campaigns, venture capital funds, policy organizations, nonprofits and, even founding their own startups. They also are no longer all located in NYC, and now I have contacts in places across the country, including Boston, Ohio, Michigan and San Francisco.

Of course, each of us is pretty busy, and even though we have the best intentions, it can be difficult to stay in touch. Becoming frustrated with the amount of effort it was taking to keep track of everyone - my former colleague Matt and I started our very own listserv recently!

In just a week, we have a Google Group of 75 (and growing) former EDCer’s (as we affectionately call ourselves). The goal of our group is to connect, and keep connected, our diverse and talented community. We intend to use the group email forum to post-professional opportunities, cool events (we like happy hours!) and hangouts, political events, and fundraisers, ask for advice, or just say hi and share what we're up to.

Want to set up your own? Here’s how we created ours:

  • Go to the Google Groups homepage here.

  • Click the “Create a group” button

  • Enter the group details:

    • Group Name: “NYCEDC-alumni”

    • Group email address: I won’t tell you ours, but I will tell you that this is a crucial field because this is the email address your entire group will write in the “TO” field of every email they write to the group. So, don’t make it too complicated!

    • Group Description: This listserv was established to foster community and share professional and social opportunities for NYCEDC alumni. Although the group was started by alumni, our community is meant to be inclusive of current NYCEDCer’s plus all the current & former partners who help ensure NYCEDC's success.

    • Group Language: Ours is English

    • Topic types: Ours is just for discussion

    • Posting Option: We allow our Members to post wherever it’s easier for them - by email or on the group website

  • Next, you’ll want to go to “Manage Group” to check your settings and adjust as necessary. We’re starting out in a more watchful way than we intend to be in the future. This means that we’re moderating all messages to the group (i.e., we get to approve each message before it gets sent to the group). You will also want to look through the permissions section and maybe assign a co-owner or manager of the group in “Roles” to share some of the responsibility of managing the group.

  • Then, you’re ready to invite your Roster (!) under “Members” → “Invite Members”.

  • We decided that we wanted to let people request to join (we knew there were people we had missed) but also wanted to control who was joining. You can do this under “Permissions” → “Basic Permissions” → “Join the group” → “Select who can join”. We now are notified when someone requests to join, do a quick cross-check on LinkedIn to verify their identity, and then approve their request to join.

We just sent our first invitation to a group happy hour to celebrate the holidays together. In addition to sending out a note to the listserv, we also sent through a calendar invite so we could track RSVPs. I’m thrilled that I’ll get to see so many of my favorite people in one night!

-Carly

Q&A: Career transition questions answered with Power to Fly

We recently had the pleasure of spending an afternoon with the Power to Fly community on our first ever, partnered Live Chat (check out the recording!). Not only did we get to share our “Getting out of your OH F*CK Career Moment” 5-step framework, but we also answer a lot of your questions, live during the session. The caliber of questions was outstanding so we are sharing a few here.

Not familiar with our awesome partner? Power to Fly was founded by Milena Berry and Katharine Zaleski in 2014 to connect Fortune 500 companies and fast growing startups with women who are looking to work for companies that value gender diversity and inclusion. They are building the platform to propel diversity recruiting and hiring (and they are a team of awesome humans).

Have a question we didn’t answer below? Email us at hello@thecrabwalk.com!

Want to watch the webinar?

Q&A

How do you convince a future employer you can do a job when your past job titles do not match the open position?

In our experience, job titles are mattering less and less - for one, they're not standard across companies or industries any longer. So, don't let that stop you. What can you say about your past experience that demonstrates not only that you are currently a great fit for this open position, but also shows that you will be able to learn and adapt to any new challenges or skills required?

Do you have tips on motivating myself to apply to jobs during busy season at my current job?

I am a huge fan of time blocking which means not only that you schedule a specific block of time to focus on applying to jobs, but also putting a time limit on it! For me, it's less helpful to put time on the calendar to complete a task (especially one as wide open as this!) without an end time. Without this took, I often feel like "I don't know when I've done enough." Knowing there is an end time provides a forcing function for me to be as efficient with that time as possible (i.e., not turn to twitter, instagram, or anything else that distracts me)! Even if it's only 20 minutes every day or 2 hours a week, schedule the time and you'll be surprised how much you can get done!

While navigating a career pivot, what are your thoughts on deciding whether to stay in your current job while searching for another job versus leaving to pursue your transition full time?

The situation is unique for everyone. A few questions to ask yourself to determine which of those 2 options are best for you: 

  • Do you do well with unstructured time (because you'll have a lot of it if you quit cold turkey)? 

  • What can you afford financially? 

  • Do you think that your current employer/colleagues would be a material help to you in this search (if so, maybe it's time to tell them that you're leaving - maybe that doesn't mean you have to run out the door though)? 

  • A third option..could you find a part-time gig? Either asking your current employer to hire you in a consulting capacity, finding some side gigs, or getting an arbitrary job? This could alleviate some financial burden and also provide some structure. 


When transitioning to a drastically new industry, role, or experience level, how do you best think one can explain that when applying for roles in which you are senior in other non-related fields and don’t want the “overqualified” or “non enough applicable experience” filter applied to you when it’s too late for internships to get time under your belt?

Let's go back one step. How can you get warmly connected to the companies that you're applying to? Do you have a 2nd or 3rd degree connection on LinkedIn with any current employees of those companies? Or, can you mine your own network to find them? If you can make contact with a human being at the company as opposed to solely relying on paper (i.e., resume + cover letter) to represent you, you'll have a much better chance of making your case. We have some structured exercises to help you uncover who’s already in your network and how to reach out to them for help: The 5-Step Crabwalk Framework: How to leverage who you already know to help you move forward in your career.

Is there a "normal" time frame for making a career shift?

Nope! Definitely no prescribed time frame. A couple of thoughts: 

1) When are you aiming to make a transition? Say it's 9 months - set smaller, digestible goals to help you meet that ideal date. What do you want to learn or do in the next 30 days that would make a big difference for you in this search? 

2) You're going to have moments of "I feel stuck" during this process. We all do. So, who can you talk to and what can you do when you get stuck? If you have a plan in advance for how to get yourself "unstuck", then you will not get in your own way of hitting your goals!

Should there be an objective at the top of a resume? Or a brief summary of yourself or should you just jump into experience/achievements?

Do you have a single, specific objective that you want to communicate to employers? If yes, definitely include it! It will help ensure that you're filtering out irrelevant opportunities that might take a lot of energy and time to vet and respond to otherwise. But, if you don't have a single, specific objective, don't spend your energy trying to fake one!

Have another question?

Did this spark a question in your mind that’s not answered here? Email us at hello@thecrabwalk.com and we’ll be sure to answer! Or, sign up for our newsletter to hear about our upcoming free live chats or webinars.

Want to watch the webinar? Sign up to our newsletter to receive the recording!

What does Laura do when she’s demoralized? Hiking. Both literally, and figuratively.

Have you hiked Breakneck Ridge? It’s an hour north of New York City. The first 90 minutes is a rock scramble and then it’s an easy breezy (sort of) 3 hour stroll downhill. Each time I hike it I think I might fall backwards and plummet to a bruised (at best) and broken (probably) mess at the bottom. But somehow, I haven’t yet - lots of credit to my mother and her Austrian blood!

My day-to-day experience of life is meaningfully better than it was 3 years ago as a result of things that help me manage my state of mind: therapy, coaching, conversations with friends, journaling, daydreaming, meditation, shower thoughts, exercise, etc. Anything where I’m reflecting, learning about myself, and processing what’s happening around and to me. I come out more clearheaded. Hiking is one of those things.

There’s always a moment in a long hike where I wish I wasn’t on the hike. I wish I was in the car. Or at the brewery. Or just coming out of the shower with a beer or Moscow Mule. But then I’m still on the trail with an hour or so to go. Sometimes it feels like I’ll never get there. Ever. SAD FACE.

But the silver lining is I’ve been here before and I know what happens. If I put one foot in front of the other, I will always get there. I will always get to the end, if I just keep moving. One (sometimes painful) step at a time. The only way through is through. 

If I freeze. If I stop. If I sit down. If I could somehow find a helicopter. I could sit down and journal about why I haven’t reached the end yet. I can spiral about what I should have done differently earlier on in the hike - taken a shorter route. Worn my real hiking boots. Brought more snacks. Picked a less clammy day to hike. I can noodle. As I do. Figure out why I ended here. Be depressed about it. 


But ultimately none of that gets me down the mountain. The only useful things I can do is move forward in the best possible way I can. 

  1. Put one foot in front of the other

  2. Optimize the journey w/ what I have - maybe drink some water? Have a snack. Put on some music. Stretch. Change my sweaty shirt…  Just take a minute to tune into my body, reflect on what has worked to energize me in the past, and adjust.

  3. Then I can make sure I’m still on the best possible path to where I want to go. I can pull out the map and get clear on where I ideally want to be - THE CAR. Am I on the right route? Is there a shorter one? 

  4. Once I’ve optimized - there’s only thing left to do: Take a step forward.


Are you feeling demoralized? Tired? A bit scared you won’t make it to that car? 

Maybe you can just sit on a rock. Take a deep breath. Drink some water. Confirm where you want to go. And then take a step. Keep moving. You’ll get there.


Podcast: How to Become “Anti-Fragile” in Your Career

 

What is being anti-fragile? What I’ve learned at MIT is that means that when you’re in the midst of a chaotic or distressing situation, you’re not only able to be resilient and roll with the punches, but instead, enhance your capabilities in the moment. -- Carly

Carly Chase and Dip Patel recording Soluna’s .

Carly Chase and Dip Patel recording Soluna’s .

One of the itches I was feeling when I began to realize I wanted to leave Goldman Sachs was to have more opportunities to meet new people, more frequently. Once I started working for the New York City Economic Development Corporation, I not only validated that connecting with new people did indeed make me happier, but I realized that it could actually be part of my future job requirements for any job.

I have continued that practice to this day, and my role at MIT is certainly no exception. There are weeks when I can meet 10-20 new people. One of my favorite new friends from the last two years there is Dip Patel, who is a startup founder, my co-teacher in Building an Entrepreneurial Venture: Advanced Tools and Techniques at MIT, and current CTO at Soluna.

Dip recently invited me to be a guest on Soluna’s podcast, The Kingdom, to talk about the benefits of an entrepreneurial mindset in business.  

But, having an entrepreneurial mindset is not only helpful in business or when you’re founding a company. It’s also helpful in many other aspects of your life, including your career.

What is an entrepreneurial mindset?

At MIT, we define it as being an anti-fragile human. 

To me, that means that when you’re in the midst of a chaotic or distressing situation, you’re not only able to be resilient and roll with the punches, but instead, enhance your capabilities in the moment.

Let’s apply this idea to a time when you were contemplating making a shift in your professional life, whether that was taking on new responsibilities at your job or finding an entirely new opportunity. You certainly wanted to be able to stay sane throughout the process, and handle the inevitable no’s that you would likely get. But, imagine if your reactions during this uncertain and challenging time could have been even more dynamic than just that? What if the no’s weren’t disappointing, but informative and energizing? Just like me, you might find that mindset far more inspiring.

In the podcast, Dip and I talk through some specific anti-fragile traits that we have developed in ourselves over time, and also see in our students at MIT.

Here are three of our favorite anti-fragile traits:

  1. Stay open minded and say yes. Stay opened minded enough to say yes when unexpected opportunities arise that could be a fit. You can learn from them, even if they’re ultimately a no.

  2. Be honest about, and unafraid of, your weaknesses. Instead of dwelling on them, recognize other skills that help fill those gaps and leverage your unique strengths and authentic interests.

  3. Know what gives you energy. Notice what fills your tank and what empties it.

There are many more but these are a start. For the whole 34 minute conversation, listen (or watch!) here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxLGSJl06zc&t=1009s

Have any additional anti-fragile traits that you’ve honed over time? Comment here or email us at hello@thecrabwalk.com anytime.

 

5 steps to leverage who you already know to move forward in your career

Regardless of your age, experience, or stature, making a transition in your work can be so painful. It takes effort, creates ambiguity, and forces change in your life. There’s uncertainty. Imposter syndrome is ever present. Your life is impacted. The lives of people you love are impacted. 

It’s like a jigsaw puzzle you’re trying to solve without knowing what the final picture should look like. And you’re terrified that when you finally commit and piece things together, you’ll regret the decisions you made when the picture becomes clear.

Through Crabwalk, we’re aiming to make career transitions so much easier and less risky. And we’re doing that by teaching you the skills and benefits of involving the people you already know along the way.

When you include others in a strategic way in any work transitions, it will not only make it less lonely and more fun, but a whole lot faster. Why is that? The reasons are endless, but a few: 

  • You’ll spend less time in your head

  • You’ll open your eyes to game-changing ideas and solutions you never knew existed

  • You’ll find an opportunity that you didn’t know you could ever dream of

  • You’ll have the support and accountability that keeps you going

It doesn’t matter if you think you have lots of friends OR if you say you’re connected to just your family and a few close friends. We guarantee you know more people than you think and we’ll give you the skills to reconnect or reach to people that seem almost impossible to right now.

Want to learn how to leverage who you already know to move your career forward?

That’s the secret sauce we teach at Crabwalk. Let’s go.

Give Crabwalk a try and get unstuck.

Start by taking just 5 minutes to think of one area in your work where you’re currently feeling stuck.

It doesn’t matter how big or small it is. It doesn’t have to be final or perfect. Any area will do for this exercise. Then follow along with the framework below and fill out this worksheet along with us (just make a copy first so you can edit it as you go).

Need some help? Emails us your worksheet with any and all questions! We’d be happy to help you along. Interested in taking this further? Sign-up for our newsletter to hear about upcoming workshops and free webinars.

The Simple 5-Step Crabwalk Framework

STEP 1:  Create your Ideal Outcome

Why this matters: 

If you don’t know what you’re going after, you’re more likely to feel overwhelmed when deciding what step to make next. How can you win the game if you don’t know what winning looks like? How can you move forward if you don’t know which direction takes you where you want to go?

If you feel lost as you do this exercise, always come back to this step.

Exercise:

  • Take 10 minutes to think about these questions: What would success look like in this area 90 days from now? What would the impact be?

  • Then write your answer in Step 1 in the worksheet.

Tips: 

  • Pick one goal to start. It doesn’t matter if it’s perfect or the “right goal.” Success is writing down a goal (hint: your goal can be to get clarity on what a good goal would be). That’s it.

  • Have more than one goal? Put them on separate list and come back to them. You can do this exercise over and over again with different goals

  • Make your goal specific — or “SMART” — Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-oriented

STEP 2: Assess the progress you’ve already made and where you’re getting stopped

Why this matters: 

If you don’t assess where you’re at now, how can you know what you need to do next? If Michael Phelps is falling short of his swimming record, you think his coach just took a random guess at what to fix on Day 1? Probably not. Ever have someone try to fix your problems without ever asking you any questions? Same thing. Not usually very productive.

Start first by outlining everything that you’re doing towards reaching your goal. Daily workouts? Healthy diet? Great form? From there, write down where you’re getting stopped. What are the gaps to fill? 

Maybe you’re getting stopped because of a lack of knowledge, money, accountability, connections, advice, clarity, new ideas, etc. Or maybe anxiety and imposter syndrome have been getting in your way. Or a lack of confidence that you can do it at all. All of those are legit. And may change overtime. That’s A-OK, very common and something you can overcome. The first part is getting specific about what it is that’s even stopping you.

We’ve included some examples in Step 2 of the worksheet. Now your turn.

Exercise:

  • Write down 5-10 things you’ve done towards reaching your goal (hint: one is you’re reading this blog post right now…)

  • Write down at least 3 concrete things that are getting you stopped

  • For each area that you’re getting stopped, think about the following:

    • What’s one thing that would help you get unstopped in this area?

    • Who comes to mind that you could ask to help you get unstopped.

    • What's the best way to reach out to them?

    • When will I realistically do this? How will I make sure I do it?

Tips:

  • Include anything and everything that is contributing to you reaching your goal. Don’t hold back! Write down anything that comes to mind. It helps to remind yourself that you’ve actually done quite a bit.

  • Include one area where you’re getting stopped in each row. Get really specific.

  • Not sure how to reach out to people who could help you? Keep moving on to Steps 3, 4 and 5 below!

STEP 3: Create your Crabwalk Roster

Why this matters:

There’s no way we can do 100% of things on our own. We need to work with others. If we’re looking to lean on others for help, we need to remember who we even know. Without writing it down, it’s too many names to remember. The human brain will limit you to whoever was most recent or most impactful. Start by blowing that list wide open.

Exercise:

  • Set aside 20-30 minutes to fill out this Step 3 - Roster Template. Good news: you only have to do this once and then it’s easy to maintain! Just keep adding names as they come to mind It’s so worth it. The names that pop up will surprise you and be eternally helpful down the road. Instructions are included in the template.

Tips:

  • Set a timer for 20 minutes - don’t stop until the timer is done. Keep writing!

  • Start by writing out all the communities you are apart of like: college, home town, 1st job, internship, volleyball league, book group, religious organizations

  • Include groups from your past, present and future.

  • Don’t worry if you’ve lost touch. Anyone and everyone you’ve had a connection with, or plan to have a connection with, can and should land on your roster.

STEP 4: Nurture your Roster

Why this matters:

If you’re not building relationships, how could you leverage them? If you’ve never talked to your neighbor, it would be weird to walk over and ask them to feed your cat for the weekend. If you’ve been working on that relationship, you trust them, they trust you, that ask is much easier.

It’s the same reason why it’s easier to ask an ex-boss for a connection versus someone you just met at the buffet table at that one networking event. Work with the people you already have and do it in a genuine, kind, respectful, and authentic way.

Exercise:

  • Outline how you already nurture relationships and create 2 new nurture routines for people on your Crabwalk Roster. You can use this template in Step 4 of the worksheet.

  • The nurture routine should include: 

    • What’s natural and easy for you.

    • How you already communicate with them and what’s authentic and genuine.

    • A list of possible nurture activities (like grabbing coffee, or inviting them to take a walk, or sending them a card on their birthday)

Tips: 

  • Think about people who could be really helpful for you in helping you get over where you’re stopped

  • Be authentic to you (don’t go out for coffee if you don’t like coffee!)

  • Match the nurture activity to the person you’re nurturing (not everyone will want to be nurtured in the same way or frequency)

STEP 5: Make the Ask!

Why this matters: 

If you don’t ask for what you need, people will not give it to you. Sounds so simple. Yet sometimes it feels so hard. This exercise will hopefully make it easier.

The only way to know if people will help, is if you ask. They may say no, but that’s ok. Your only job is to ask. As you get better, the likelihood of someone saying yes may increase. But that’s it. Start asking today. Don’t wait to be perfect. It gets easier over time, we promise.

Exercise

  • Outline one ask for someone that would get you unstuck in reaching your Ideal Outcome! You can use the template in Step 5 for this, but make it your own. Hint: Go back to your Step 1 where you outlined where you were stopped. What could unstop you? Who on your Roster could help you with that? What would the ask be? That’s the ask you’re outlining here.

Tips:

  • Match the ask to the person you’re talking to - make sure it’s an appropriate ask for that person and your relationship to that person.

  • Know that sometimes the answer will be “no” and that’s ok! Go on to ask someone else.

  • If you get a bunch of no’s, you can run the ask by a trusted friend to see if there’s anything they would recommend you could tweak with it. Be open to feedback. They want to help.

How did you do?

Congrats on getting through the 5-Step Framework! How did you do? Fill out our 1-minute quiz below!

Some of you will be naturals at nurturing but not confident in your asks. Others will know what they want and yet feel like they’ve exhausted their connections. And some of you will feel like you’re a novice or a pro at it all. That’s all perfect! Wherever you are is great.

Take stock so you know where you can focus your energy going forward. Plus, you’ll help us create helpful materials for you.

Looking for some additional help? We’re here!

We host office hours, free webinars, extended workshops and 1:1 coaching. You can also sign up for our newsletter to get periodic emails with tools, stories, upcoming programming, etc. Or email us anytime at hello@thecrabwalk.com with your worksheet or just some questions / stories / feedback. We’d love to hear from you!

Carly's journey to Crabwalk

This is cliche but true. 15 years ago I would have never believed it if you told me I’d be running a startup accelerator, teaching at MIT, and building Crabwalk. 

It’s not that I wouldn’t have been psyched about that story, but I simply had a different idea of what my life would look like. What has led me to this place surprises me even more. 

My current life is almost 100% credited to the existing people in my life like the alumni of my college, friends of friends, family, clients, and former colleagues to name a few.

Here’s the story of how I crabwalked to where I am today.

My journey to Crabwalk

I sought independence at a very, very young age. Money was a prevalent subject in my house. My dad is an accountant and financial planner.

So in my world at the time, financial independence = true independence. I believed this so much that when 10 year old me was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was a philanthropist.

My mission was set; I would work to earn money and be financially independent.

I grew up looking up to other working women - Katie Couric, Barbara Walters, Oprah and Madeleine Albright. Alright, I guess the ones I knew of were all on TV.

My mom was a speech pathologist and teacher; my dad an accountant and financial planner.  One grandfather was a radio talk show host and the other a pharmacist. My grandmother a reading teacher. Besides friends parents who were lawyers and doctors, that was about my total knowledge of job options.

I set out to work as early as I can remember.

At first, just being at my dad’s office, and then as soon as someone let me, at age 12, I was a mother’s helper and was quickly promoted to babysitter. At 15, completely out of the blue, I presented my parents with minor’s working papers for them to sign so I could work at a local florist.

As much as I loved growing up in my small town, I was eager to head to a city and be where the action was.  

My first steps forward.

As soon as I got to college, my dad started to seed me with instructions of how to explore potential career paths. He suggested utilizing the resources I already had available to me, such as alums from Skidmore, who would be willing to share their own experiences. I wasn’t the most outgoing of college students so I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about approaching complete strangers.

My dad reassured me, however, that “people love talking about themselves, so just let them talk.”  It worked like a charm at those first few coffee meetings and my confidence grew during those outings.

That’s when I learned a key part of Crabwalking: how to leverage people I was connected to already to help me move forward in my career.

I got in touch with a young alumni who helped me secure my first professional internship at Goldman Sachs in New York City. I was psyched! I was going to be a financial services professional at the most well regarded bank in the world, in the center of it all, NYC. I was going to be able to make enough money to not only enjoy my life, but also treat my family and friends occasionally and donate to nonprofits that I cared about. Career, figured out!

And then, September 2008 happened and everything started to change.

I was on the front lines of seeing many people’s careers get up-ended. So I started to think, perhaps it wasn’t going to be the same for me as it was for my parents. Industries can change in a day, employers aren’t as loyal as their employees are, and it wasn’t good enough to be a one-skill pony.  

I didn’t fully know what that meant or how that would show up in my life years down the road.  What I did know was that I wanted to learn what my other options were outside of financial services.

That’s when I started to really move sideways and walk like a crab through my career.

My first crabwalk move to the side.

The move out of Goldman Sachs wasn’t easy. I was making a great salary at a highly regarded brand. My parents were quite confused when I told them I wanted to leave. My friends were too, they had been hearing about my dream to be a star on Wall Street since my first day of freshman year.  

When I told my colleagues at Goldman that I was leaving to take a job in local, city government, their heads seemed to be spinning too…

“You’re not moving to a competitor, so this isn’t about compensation?” — my boss asked at the time.

“Nope”, I said. 

I had been a political junkie since I was 12 years old, so when an opportunity in the public sector became available, I jumped at it. I think I would have been excited to work in any aspect of government, but it was a bonus that I’d be working at an economic development agency where I was responsible for working with the private sector to strengthen NYC’s economy. That meant I’d be able to fulfill a goal of mine of getting a bird’s eye view of all of the sectors in NYC.

But, it also meant that I’d be taking a huge bet on myself, and a huge pay cut. And it paid off.

Since taking my leap out of finance, I’ve worked in government, startups, academia, and am now on a journey as a business founder. Crabwalking has unearthed so much for me: my entrepreneurial nature, more confidence in myself, and true independence.

Crabwalking can be an amazing thing.

I strongly believe that my generation’s paths are going to be less linear than our parents. That we are all going to have to take a few steps sideways as we move forward, and that we’ll be better for it.  

Forging a new path will be a bit painful for most. Sometimes we get stopped before we even have a chance to get started because on a non-linear path, there are no clear directions or a clear destination.

It can be confusing or shameful for some when we don’t have all of the answers. We live in a Google-centric world where answers are always at our fingertips, but this isn’t one of those questions with an easily defined answer.  

Answering friends and family’s questions about work becomes more difficult, it takes us a little bit longer to fill out the “what’s your occupation” question on a form, and just like that, our future is a bit more open to interpretation. We don’t know all of the answers to these pressing, societal questions.

I am here to tell you that it is OK. YOU ARE OK.

Why do I feel the need to shout this at you? 

Because I have been on a long, unplanned Crabwalk. At first, I couldn’t really articulate why I wanted to leave the company on Wall Street I had dreamed about and aspired to. I measured my self-worth according to how quickly I could acquire promotions, vacation days, and top reviews. I was all about moving up and forward.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still the same ambitious woman I have always been and I very much want to continue moving up and forward.  But I feel much more comfortable in the sideways. 

Crabwalk exists to help you navigate through the journey so that you can embrace the sideways in order to continue to move up and forward.

— Carly

Life isn’t always linear.