How to use “weak ties” to get your next job

Basically me, going back and forth to NYC for job interviews in April 2012.

In April 2012, I (Laura) was yet again riding Amtrak back to DC after two straight days of exploratory chats and interviews in NYC. 

I checked my inbox and had gotten an offer for my first startup job: General Manager at HowAboutWe (a now defunct dating site).

My interview didn't come from a job board or my business school network. It came through a connection made by a high school friend I hadn't talked to in over 5 years.

Every job opportunity I've gotten has come from a connection, even if it wasn't a strong one. Turns out weak ties are the way to go.

Here are some tips for how to find your next job by nurturing weak ties in a way that feels authentic to you.

First, the start with the basics:

What’s a “weak tie”?

Weak ties are the people you’re loosely connected to through any activity in your work or personal life. Here’s how they’re described by Allie Volpe for the New York Times.

Think of the parents you see in the drop-off line at school. Your favorite bartender. The other dog owners at the park. The sociologist Mark Granovetter calls these low-stakes relationships “weak ties.” Not only can these connections affect our job prospects, they also can have a positive impact on our well-being by helping us feel more connected to other social groups.

Why are my weak ties important for finding my next job? Let’s talk about pie.

Imagine the jobs you know of only represent 2 pieces of the pie. If you don’t think your dream job exists, go looking in the other pieces of the pie.

Do you know exactly what you want to do for a living? Are you clear on the job you’re hunting for? If yes, congrats! That job search might be tedious but it’s helpful to know what you’re hunting for.

For so many people, the answer is a sheepish “no.”

If you haven’t been inspired by the jobs around you, chances are part of what’s holding you back is not having a model that resonates with you. Someone, doing something that seems realistic and inspiring to you.

If you’re only exposed to your immediate circle of friends, you’re only going to see the jobs that are in front of you. The ones your friends have, the ones that pop up on LinkedIn or get pushed to you by your career counselor.

Consider this your piece of the pie, combined with the piece of the pie your friends and co-workers know. The rest of the pie is unknown to you, for now.

If none of those jobs sound appealing, you have to broaden your view. Get a new perspective. See how the rest of the world works. What’s happening in all the other slices of the pie?

There are likely dozens of jobs out there that you know very little about, but that could bring you joy. That was the case for me.

When I started as a coach, all I knew was that I wanted to learn how to coach. I come from an operations background and love doing puzzles. Solving problems is my jam.  After 14 years of working to solve business/operations problems, I wanted to learn how to help individuals navigate their own challenges.

At the time, being a coach full-time seemed insufficient to make a living and totally out of left field in a way I couldn’t explain to people. No one in my immediate circle was a coach, or even had a coach. So I had to do some exploring. One of my first connections was through my CFO at my last startup, a wonderful friend and colleague named Chris. Over drinks, he mentioned our CEO who I had worked with for 2 years had recently hired a coach, paying him/her a not-cheap retainer. Both Chris and my former CEO, two people I respected, spoke highly of a successful coach. It put this whole coaching thing in a very appealing new light. This career became that much more realistic.

You can get exposed to new jobs by having conversations with people who run in different circles. Through your weak ties.

Where do I start to connect with my weak ties?

Start by identifying one thing you know you like (e.g. working for a particular cause like the environment or animal rights). Then look at all the people who you’ve ever been in contact with. Through sports teams, your alma mater, school programs, etc. Does anyone have a connection there? Could anyone make a connection for you?

What if I haven’t talked to these people in 5 years?

That’s A-OK. You can still reach out. Just acknowledge the passing of time and be earnest about it. One example:

“Hey Jon!

It’s been so long! Last time we talked you were in SF working for AirBnB. Still there? How are things?

I’m reaching out because I saw you’re connected to ASPCA. It’s an organization I’m really interested in getting involved with. I wanted to see if you had 20 minutes to spare to chat through your experience with them. If it’s not a good time, I totally get it. It would be good to hear updates either way.

Hope you’re well. — Laura”

In the meantime, start nurturing your connections with more intention to make these conversations even easier.

How can I nurture my connections with weak ties?

What is nurturing?
Nurturing is a series of touch points with someone. The goal is to know what's going with each other, e.g. where you are today and what you're looking to do next. Once you have the info, you'll be in a better position to help each other out in a mutually beneficial way.

Who should I be nurturing?
Anyone you've ever connected with could be worth nurturing if you think they could be helpful to you and you to them. You already know a ton of people, even if you don't believe us (yet). You know all of your current and past colleagues, friends you play soccer with (or whatever else), book club friends, neighbors you grew up with, friends of friends, your family friends ... you get the idea. All of these are fair game, even if you haven't talked to them in 10 years. 

How should I be nurturing?
Not all relationships are created equal. Your nurturing activities may be different by person. Think about "what type of activities do I already do to maintain relationships?" and "what types of activities do I hate doing?" "What feels most appropriate or natural for this person and for me?" Find a nurturing style that works for you (there are lots of ideas below).

Do I have to get coffee with everyone?
Nope. You might love to get coffee chats, or grab drinks, or have a Zoom catch-up over breakfast. These 1-on-1 connections can be meaningful and useful. However, they're not the only option. Let's check out group nurturing...

What is group nurturing?
It means a touch point that goes to many people, so you get the most bang for your buck. You likely already do this in your WhatsApp groups, text chains, when you’re throwing a dinner party, when you’re sharing an update on LinkedIn, when you play a game of soccer with your friends...etc.

Want to download our checklist on how to nurture connections with weak ties?

What are some of your favorite nurturing ideas?

Sometimes the hardest part of nurturing is deciding on how to nurture your connections in the most effective way. And often if we get stuck at this point, it can lead us to getting stopped altogether.

All you need is a touchpoint that works for both you and them. Here are some of mine and Carly’s favorite nurturing ideas:

Virtual Nurturing Ideas

• Send a postcard

  • Collect vintage or unusual postcards on your trips or in flea markets and send them whenever it strikes your fancy.

    • My sister regularly sends postcards, whether she’s traveling or not.

• Send a mass letter to celebrate around:

  • Holidays

  • Birthdays

  • Work anniversaries

• Send a mass email announcements because you:

  • Are graduating!

  • Had a life event - got married, had a child

  • Change of address - work or personal

  • New business card

  • Want to give a semi-annual update on your new business

• 1-on-1 “thinking of you” emails:

  • Share an article that you think is useful

  • Invite them to an event that you're going to

  • Send something relevant to them that made you think of them

  • Just saying hi

• Send a text:

  • A gif

  • TikTok Video (some good ones)

  • Medium article

  • A relevant tweet

Ways to nurture more than one person at once

• Organize an event:

  • Happy hour

  • Group activity

  • Game night

• Invite them to an existing event:

  • Work event that you're hosting

  • Webinar that might interest them

  • Virtual or real life trivia night

• Attend an industry event:

  • Conference

  • Party

  • Meetup

• Invite friends on social media, in online groups, or on your sports team to read a book alongside you, especially one that’s topical (e.g. How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi)

1-on-1 (these can be virtual or in-person)

• Coffee

• Lunch

• Drinks

• Dinner

• Go for a walk

• Co-work together

• Do an activity together (e.g. exercise class, summer concert, museum)

Want another way to strengthen weak ties?

Join our 5-week career accountability group. You’ll meet others navigating their own career journey and get coaching from me and Carly. We’ll share proven tips to get you moving, feel clear-headed, accomplished, and energized. Join us!

Are we missing your favorite nurturing tip? Share!

Comment below or email us (hello@thecrabwalk.com) and tell us!

If you liked this blog, check out some of our others on the topic of nurturing:

• 14 Ways to Virtually Nurture your Connections 

• Tactical Tips: How to Nurture More Relationships, Faster

• Easy Ways to Nurture your Connections Over the Holidays

Want to download our checklist on how to nurture connections with weak ties?

Easy ways to nurture your connections over the holidays (even if you’re not in the mood)

It’s December 19th. I’m guessing you’re in some alternate reality where time has sped up and slowed down at the same time. Half of your friends and coworkers are already gone. You’re buying presents on Amazon between meetings (or maybe during your meetings). Grabbing dinner with people who are surprisingly in town. And generally looking forward to something - whether that's time away, or time right where you are.

Whether you’re still working full time or already checked out, this time of year is great for nurturing the people that matter most to you, without much effort.

Here are some ways you can nurture your connections over the holidays with more or less effort, depending on your mood. 

• Do a fireside chat with a family member. This time of year, you have an excuse to not think about your search or your job until the new year. So take advantage and really be with the people you cherish most. Maybe even ask them a question you wouldn’t otherwise ask them (“What's one thing you're really proud of from this last year?” “Do you have a secret dream you haven't told me about?" "When we grow old, can we live in a retirement home together and start a dance group?")
  

• While you’re watching reruns of Friends before it comes off Netflix (just me?), go through your texts and send a happy holidays wish to everyone you’ve texted in the last few months. Maybe even go back a year or two. You can always start with a great Bitmoji or gif and then add a personalized twist for each person. It’s also a great way to quickly reconnect with people who otherwise may not be around in your day-to-day.
  

• Send simple holiday cards. Whether you mass send cards of your kids via Shutterfly or handwrite a few vintage postcards, they’ll be warmly appreciated. 
  

• Send out some handmade gifts. Maybe you’ve refined a creative skill over the last year and have some time over the holidays to create some handmade gifts. The beauty of a handmade gift is that they don’t have to be expensive and can mean a lot to the person who receives it. People don’t often receive handmade gifts anymore so this can go a long way.
  

• Make a shortlist of the top 5 people who really made a difference for you this year and tell them. Maybe someone made a connection that landed you a new gig. Or you had one memorable, eye opening conversation that really settled things for you. Whatever it is, write them a note / email or call them. Think for a minute about the impact they had on you. Then communicate that genuinely to them. People often don’t know how helpful they are and it’s always wonderful to hear.
  

• Jump on Skype with your long distance friends. Maintaining friendships with those who live on the other side of the country, or even on the other side of the world, can be difficult a the best of times. So try making the time to have a quick catch up with your long distance friends on Skype this holiday. What better way to take a step back from the holiday madness than catching up with an old friend. Feel to make a “happy hour” call if that strikes your fancy.
  

• Host a holiday open house with PJs allowed. A lot of people may be hanging around town and looking to lay low. Set up an open house at your place. You can light some candles, get some holiday-themed snacks, put on a good 80’s movie, pull out some games, or just offer your couch for anyone looking to read a book.
  

How do you nurture naturally during the holidays? Comment below and tell us!

In the meantime, have a wonderful rest of the year and start to 2020. 

Want to download our guide on how to nurture your connections over the holidays?

What does Laura do when she’s demoralized? Hiking. Both literally, and figuratively.

Have you hiked Breakneck Ridge? It’s an hour north of New York City. The first 90 minutes is a rock scramble and then it’s an easy breezy (sort of) 3 hour stroll downhill. Each time I hike it I think I might fall backwards and plummet to a bruised (at best) and broken (probably) mess at the bottom. But somehow, I haven’t yet - lots of credit to my mother and her Austrian blood!

My day-to-day experience of life is meaningfully better than it was 3 years ago as a result of things that help me manage my state of mind: therapy, coaching, conversations with friends, journaling, daydreaming, meditation, shower thoughts, exercise, etc. Anything where I’m reflecting, learning about myself, and processing what’s happening around and to me. I come out more clearheaded. Hiking is one of those things.

There’s always a moment in a long hike where I wish I wasn’t on the hike. I wish I was in the car. Or at the brewery. Or just coming out of the shower with a beer or Moscow Mule. But then I’m still on the trail with an hour or so to go. Sometimes it feels like I’ll never get there. Ever. SAD FACE.

But the silver lining is I’ve been here before and I know what happens. If I put one foot in front of the other, I will always get there. I will always get to the end, if I just keep moving. One (sometimes painful) step at a time. The only way through is through. 

If I freeze. If I stop. If I sit down. If I could somehow find a helicopter. I could sit down and journal about why I haven’t reached the end yet. I can spiral about what I should have done differently earlier on in the hike - taken a shorter route. Worn my real hiking boots. Brought more snacks. Picked a less clammy day to hike. I can noodle. As I do. Figure out why I ended here. Be depressed about it. 

But ultimately none of that gets me down the mountain. The only useful things I can do is move forward in the best possible way I can. 

1. Put one foot in front of the other

2. Optimize the journey w/ what I have - maybe drink some water? Have a snack. Put on some music. Stretch. Change my sweaty shirt…  Just take a minute to tune into my body, reflect on what has worked to energize me in the past, and adjust.

3. Then I can make sure I’m still on the best possible path to where I want to go. I can pull out the map and get clear on where I ideally want to be - THE CAR. Am I on the right route? Is there a shorter one? 

4. Once I’ve optimized - there’s only thing left to do: Take a step forward.

Are you feeling demoralized? Tired? A bit scared you won’t make it to that car? 

Maybe you can just sit on a rock. Take a deep breath. Drink some water. Confirm where you want to go. And then take a step. Keep moving. You’ll get there.

5 steps to leverage who you already know to move forward in your career

Regardless of your age, experience, or stature, making a transition in your work can be so painful. It takes effort, creates ambiguity, and forces change in your life. There’s uncertainty. Imposter syndrome is ever present. Your life is impacted. The lives of people you love are impacted. 

It’s like a jigsaw puzzle you’re trying to solve without knowing what the final picture should look like. And you’re terrified that when you finally commit and piece things together, you’ll regret the decisions you made when the picture becomes clear.

Through Crabwalk, we’re aiming to make career transitions so much easier and less risky. And we’re doing that by teaching you the skills and benefits of involving the people you already know along the way.

When you include others in a strategic way in any work transitions, it will not only make it less lonely and more fun, but a whole lot faster. Why is that? The reasons are endless, but a few: 

• You’ll spend less time in your head

• You’ll open your eyes to game-changing ideas and solutions you never knew existed

• You’ll find an opportunity that you didn’t know you could ever dream of

• You’ll have the support and accountability that keeps you going

It doesn’t matter if you think you have lots of friends OR if you say you’re connected to just your family and a few close friends. We guarantee you know more people than you think and we’ll give you the skills to reconnect or reach to people that seem almost impossible to right now.

Want to learn how to leverage who you already know to move your career forward?

That’s the secret sauce we teach at Crabwalk. Let’s go.

Give Crabwalk a try and get unstuck.

Start by taking just 5 minutes to think of one area in your work where you’re currently feeling stuck.

It doesn’t matter how big or small it is. It doesn’t have to be final or perfect. Any area will do for this exercise. Then follow along with the framework below and fill out this worksheet along with us (just make a copy first so you can edit it as you go).

Need some help? Emails us your worksheet with any and all questions! We’d be happy to help you along. Interested in taking this further? Sign-up for our newsletter to hear about upcoming workshops and free webinars.

The Simple 5-Step Crabwalk Framework

STEP 1:  Create your Ideal Outcome

Why this matters: 

If you don’t know what you’re going after, you’re more likely to feel overwhelmed when deciding what step to make next. How can you win the game if you don’t know what winning looks like? How can you move forward if you don’t know which direction takes you where you want to go?

If you feel lost as you do this exercise, always come back to this step.

Exercise:

• Take 10 minutes to think about these questions: What would success look like in this area 90 days from now? What would the impact be?

• Then write your answer in Step 1 in the worksheet.

Tips: 

• Pick one goal to start. It doesn’t matter if it’s perfect or the “right goal.” Success is writing down a goal (hint: your goal can be to get clarity on what a good goal would be). That’s it.

• Have more than one goal? Put them on separate list and come back to them. You can do this exercise over and over again with different goals

• Make your goal specific — or “SMART” — Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-oriented

STEP 2: Assess the progress you’ve already made and where you’re getting stopped

Why this matters: 

If you don’t assess where you’re at now, how can you know what you need to do next? If Michael Phelps is falling short of his swimming record, you think his coach just took a random guess at what to fix on Day 1? Probably not. Ever have someone try to fix your problems without ever asking you any questions? Same thing. Not usually very productive.

Start first by outlining everything that you’re doing towards reaching your goal. Daily workouts? Healthy diet? Great form? From there, write down where you’re getting stopped. What are the gaps to fill? 

Maybe you’re getting stopped because of a lack of knowledge, money, accountability, connections, advice, clarity, new ideas, etc. Or maybe anxiety and imposter syndrome have been getting in your way. Or a lack of confidence that you can do it at all. All of those are legit. And may change overtime. That’s A-OK, very common and something you can overcome. The first part is getting specific about what it is that’s even stopping you.

We’ve included some examples in Step 2 of the worksheet. Now your turn.

Exercise:

• Write down 5-10 things you’ve done towards reaching your goal (hint: one is you’re reading this blog post right now…)

• Write down at least 3 concrete things that are getting you stopped

• For each area that you’re getting stopped, think about the following:

  • What’s one thing that would help you get unstopped in this area?

  • Who comes to mind that you could ask to help you get unstopped.

  • What's the best way to reach out to them?

  • When will I realistically do this? How will I make sure I do it?

Tips:

• Include anything and everything that is contributing to you reaching your goal. Don’t hold back! Write down anything that comes to mind. It helps to remind yourself that you’ve actually done quite a bit.

• Include one area where you’re getting stopped in each row. Get really specific.

• Not sure how to reach out to people who could help you? Keep moving on to Steps 3, 4 and 5 below!

STEP 3: Create your Crabwalk Roster

Why this matters:

There’s no way we can do 100% of things on our own. We need to work with others. If we’re looking to lean on others for help, we need to remember who we even know. Without writing it down, it’s too many names to remember. The human brain will limit you to whoever was most recent or most impactful. Start by blowing that list wide open.

Exercise:

• Set aside 20-30 minutes to fill out this Step 3 - Roster Template. Good news: you only have to do this once and then it’s easy to maintain! Just keep adding names as they come to mind It’s so worth it. The names that pop up will surprise you and be eternally helpful down the road. Instructions are included in the template.

Tips:

• Set a timer for 20 minutes - don’t stop until the timer is done. Keep writing!

• Start by writing out all the communities you are apart of like: college, home town, 1st job, internship, volleyball league, book group, religious organizations

• Include groups from your past, present and future.

• Don’t worry if you’ve lost touch. Anyone and everyone you’ve had a connection with, or plan to have a connection with, can and should land on your roster.

STEP 4: Nurture your Roster

Why this matters:

If you’re not building relationships, how could you leverage them? If you’ve never talked to your neighbor, it would be weird to walk over and ask them to feed your cat for the weekend. If you’ve been working on that relationship, you trust them, they trust you, that ask is much easier.

It’s the same reason why it’s easier to ask an ex-boss for a connection versus someone you just met at the buffet table at that one networking event. Work with the people you already have and do it in a genuine, kind, respectful, and authentic way.

Exercise:

• Outline how you already nurture relationships and create 2 new nurture routines for people on your Crabwalk Roster. You can use this template in Step 4 of the worksheet.

• The nurture routine should include: 

  • What’s natural and easy for you.

  • How you already communicate with them and what’s authentic and genuine.

  • A list of possible nurture activities (like grabbing coffee, or inviting them to take a walk, or sending them a card on their birthday)

Tips: 

• Think about people who could be really helpful for you in helping you get over where you’re stopped

• Be authentic to you (don’t go out for coffee if you don’t like coffee!)

• Match the nurture activity to the person you’re nurturing (not everyone will want to be nurtured in the same way or frequency)

STEP 5: Make the Ask!

Why this matters: 

If you don’t ask for what you need, people will not give it to you. Sounds so simple. Yet sometimes it feels so hard. This exercise will hopefully make it easier.

The only way to know if people will help, is if you ask. They may say no, but that’s ok. Your only job is to ask. As you get better, the likelihood of someone saying yes may increase. But that’s it. Start asking today. Don’t wait to be perfect. It gets easier over time, we promise.

Exercise

• Outline one ask for someone that would get you unstuck in reaching your Ideal Outcome! You can use the template in Step 5 for this, but make it your own. Hint: Go back to your Step 1 where you outlined where you were stopped. What could unstop you? Who on your Roster could help you with that? What would the ask be? That’s the ask you’re outlining here.

Tips:

• Match the ask to the person you’re talking to - make sure it’s an appropriate ask for that person and your relationship to that person.

• Know that sometimes the answer will be “no” and that’s ok! Go on to ask someone else.

• If you get a bunch of no’s, you can run the ask by a trusted friend to see if there’s anything they would recommend you could tweak with it. Be open to feedback. They want to help.

How did you do?

Congrats on getting through the 5-Step Framework! How did you do? Fill out our 1-minute quiz below!

Some of you will be naturals at nurturing but not confident in your asks. Others will know what they want and yet feel like they’ve exhausted their connections. And some of you will feel like you’re a novice or a pro at it all. That’s all perfect! Wherever you are is great.

Take stock so you know where you can focus your energy going forward. Plus, you’ll help us create helpful materials for you.

Take the 1-minute Quiz

Crabwalk Framework Quiz

Looking for some additional help? We’re here!

We host office hours, free webinars, extended workshops and 1:1 coaching. You can also sign up for our newsletter to get periodic emails with tools, stories, upcoming programming, etc. Or email us anytime at hello@thecrabwalk.com with your worksheet or just some questions / stories / feedback. We’d love to hear from you!

Hi Crabwalk! Here's a little more about Laura + Carly

Hi!

We want to get to know you better, but first, let us introduce ourselves.

We are Laura Castaing and Carly Chase. Our story starts when we met in 2014 when we were both General Managers at startups in New York City. We were those friends / work peers who saw each other once a quarter for drinks or coffee to compare notes, vent, and feel more normal about the challenges we were facing while growing our startups.

Fast forward a few months (and a couple of major work and life changes) later … and we found ourselves sitting across a table once again, both having left our respective jobs. Neither of us was sure what was next. All we knew was that the path we had each been on no longer 100% fit. We found ourselves on the joint pursuit of jobs that authentically fit us while minimizing the anxiety that accompanied career transitions.

8 months later, after many more dinners, coffees, and working sessions, we finally put on paper the simple framework that had helped us navigate our non-linear career paths our whole working lives. Now, we teach that framework to help others navigate their own careers and, in the long-run, develop career agility.

Just as a crab walks, we often take side steps to move forward in our own careers and love helping others learn to do the same.

Here’s a bit more background on our own crabwalk journeys and where that landed us…

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A little bit about Carly

Carly in her happy place - Menemsha, Martha’s Vineyard! (with her husband, the lovely Peter)

Carly’s Crabwalk Journey

• Born and raised in Longmeadow, Massachusetts (yes, which means I’m a Patriots + Red Sox fan)

• Lived in New York City for the last 12 years, so I’ve also adopted the New York Rangers as my new hometown team (maybe because I married a native New Yorker who was at the ‘94 cup winning game)

• Currently live in the West Village in Manhattan (ask me for restaurant recommendations!)

• Am a Lecturer at the MIT Sloan School of Management where I teach Entrepreneurship, and also run a summer accelerator program (delta v) in NYC for MIT student led startups. I crabwalked to MIT via work in corporate finance, government, and startups.

Some other things to know about Carly…

…that you’ll likely see reflected in our newsletters and blogs. I…

• am a morning person and news junkie and typically start my day by reading or watching at least an hour of news

• try to spend quality, in person time with friends and family - it feels so good when I do

• am not a foodie but love the experience of dining out and try to cook too

• became devoted to yoga because of lingering back problems but appreciate it even more as a spiritual practice (practice is one of my favorite words)

• care a lot about getting from point A to point B as efficiently as possible

• wish everyone was more civically engaged

• love traveling about anywhere, but my happy place is Martha’s Vineyard

• ….and, sharing personal information in a public forum is still scary for me, so I’ve eaten about 12 Andes creme de menthe thins while writing this!

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A little about Laura

Laura (second from left) with her 3 older sisters — she’s interested to know who you think she looks like more

Laura’s Crabwalk Journey

• Raised in the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan (“Detroit Hustles Harder” stickers make frequent appearances)

• Fourth daughter of a French father and Austrian mother (I speak French but only know a few things in German, mostly about food)

• Have a Mechanical Engineering Degree from Duke University (you likely love OR hate that school — I’m ok with that)

• Learned all things business in a real estate development job in South Florida

• Currently living in Manhattan after pitstops in Chicago and DC for work and business school

• Spent 6 years leading operations for two tech startups from 20 people to 500+ people

• Launched a Career + Business Coaching business in 2017, helping successful professionals and entrepreneurs navigate work transitions (more detail on that here)

Some other things to know about Laura…

…that you’ll likely see reflected in our newsletters and blogs. I…

• nerd out on finding ways to make daily life easier. The NYTimes Smarter Living column is a favorite.

• am a night owl that loves my mornings — they’re sacred for deep work or self care — no calls or meetings before 11am.

• tend to overanalyze and compensate by finding productivity hacks like accountability partners.

• spent every summer visiting family in Europe and cherish our 80+ person reunions with games, food, and impromptu musical numbers.

• play volleyball, sing karaoke, and play trivia on the regular (let me know if you want to join!)

• rent summer houses on the weekends with friends in the Hudson River Valley — my role is usually the cocktail-maker and kitchen-organizer.

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