Tactical Tips: How to Nurture More Relationships, Faster.

As we’ve shared with you in an earlier blog post, you probably know more people than you think. After spending just a few minutes building your Crabwalk roster, you’ll quickly prove this to yourself. 

What do you do after identifying all of these awesome people in your life? Build and maintain strong relationships with your roster. We call this NURTURING! 

Nurturing everyone on your roster, all the time might feel overwhelming if you are thinking about nurturing each relationship, one at a time. But, what if you could reach 50 people on your roster with a single (not obnoxious) email? Enter the low-tech, super-efficient listserv!

I had the privilege of working under Mayor Michael Bloomberg at the New York City Economic Development Corporation (NYCEDC). In my experience, the public sector is one of the most fun environments to work within because you’re all there for a common cause and mission, as opposed to just a paycheck. My two years there resulted in some of the deepest professional relationships that I have, many of which have blossomed into great friendships too.

Like any organization you move on from, over time you get to watch your ex-colleagues take on new and exciting challenges, and route for each other in a very different capacity than you do while you’re colleagues.

My ex NYCEDC colleagues have gone onto do unbelievable things including working within large tech companies, political campaigns, venture capital funds, policy organizations, nonprofits and, even founding their own startups. They also are no longer all located in NYC, and now I have contacts in places across the country, including Boston, Ohio, Michigan and San Francisco.

Of course, each of us is pretty busy, and even though we have the best intentions, it can be difficult to stay in touch. Becoming frustrated with the amount of effort it was taking to keep track of everyone - my former colleague Matt and I started our very own listserv recently!

In just a week, we have a Google Group of 75 (and growing) former EDCer’s (as we affectionately call ourselves). The goal of our group is to connect, and keep connected, our diverse and talented community. We intend to use the group email forum to post-professional opportunities, cool events (we like happy hours!) and hangouts, political events, and fundraisers, ask for advice, or just say hi and share what we're up to.

Want to set up your own? Here’s how we created ours:

• Go to the Google Groups homepage here.

• Click the “Create a group” button

• Enter the group details:

  • Group Name: “NYCEDC-alumni”

  • Group email address: I won’t tell you ours, but I will tell you that this is a crucial field because this is the email address your entire group will write in the “TO” field of every email they write to the group. So, don’t make it too complicated!

  • Group Description: This listserv was established to foster community and share professional and social opportunities for NYCEDC alumni. Although the group was started by alumni, our community is meant to be inclusive of current NYCEDCer’s plus all the current & former partners who help ensure NYCEDC's success.

  • Group Language: Ours is English

  • Topic types: Ours is just for discussion

  • Posting Option: We allow our Members to post wherever it’s easier for them - by email or on the group website

• Next, you’ll want to go to “Manage Group” to check your settings and adjust as necessary. We’re starting out in a more watchful way than we intend to be in the future. This means that we’re moderating all messages to the group (i.e., we get to approve each message before it gets sent to the group). You will also want to look through the permissions section and maybe assign a co-owner or manager of the group in “Roles” to share some of the responsibility of managing the group.

• Then, you’re ready to invite your Roster (!) under “Members” → “Invite Members”.

• We decided that we wanted to let people request to join (we knew there were people we had missed) but also wanted to control who was joining. You can do this under “Permissions” → “Basic Permissions” → “Join the group” → “Select who can join”. We now are notified when someone requests to join, do a quick cross-check on LinkedIn to verify their identity, and then approve their request to join.

We just sent our first invitation to a group happy hour to celebrate the holidays together. In addition to sending out a note to the listserv, we also sent through a calendar invite so we could track RSVPs. I’m thrilled that I’ll get to see so many of my favorite people in one night!

-Carly

Podcast: How to Become “Anti-Fragile” in Your Career

What is being anti-fragile? What I’ve learned at MIT is that means that when you’re in the midst of a chaotic or distressing situation, you’re not only able to be resilient and roll with the punches, but instead, enhance your capabilities in the moment. -- Carly

Carly Chase and Dip Patel recording Soluna’s .

One of the itches I was feeling when I began to realize I wanted to leave Goldman Sachs was to have more opportunities to meet new people, more frequently. Once I started working for the New York City Economic Development Corporation, I not only validated that connecting with new people did indeed make me happier, but I realized that it could actually be part of my future job requirements for any job.

I have continued that practice to this day, and my role at MIT is certainly no exception. There are weeks when I can meet 10-20 new people. One of my favorite new friends from the last two years there is Dip Patel, who is a startup founder, my co-teacher in Building an Entrepreneurial Venture: Advanced Tools and Techniques at MIT, and current CTO at Soluna.

Dip recently invited me to be a guest on Soluna’s podcast, The Kingdom, to talk about the benefits of an entrepreneurial mindset in business.  

But, having an entrepreneurial mindset is not only helpful in business or when you’re founding a company. It’s also helpful in many other aspects of your life, including your career.

What is an entrepreneurial mindset?

At MIT, we define it as being an anti-fragile human. 

To me, that means that when you’re in the midst of a chaotic or distressing situation, you’re not only able to be resilient and roll with the punches, but instead, enhance your capabilities in the moment.

Let’s apply this idea to a time when you were contemplating making a shift in your professional life, whether that was taking on new responsibilities at your job or finding an entirely new opportunity. You certainly wanted to be able to stay sane throughout the process, and handle the inevitable no’s that you would likely get. But, imagine if your reactions during this uncertain and challenging time could have been even more dynamic than just that? What if the no’s weren’t disappointing, but informative and energizing? Just like me, you might find that mindset far more inspiring.

In the podcast, Dip and I talk through some specific anti-fragile traits that we have developed in ourselves over time, and also see in our students at MIT.

Here are three of our favorite anti-fragile traits:

1. Stay open minded and say yes. Stay opened minded enough to say yes when unexpected opportunities arise that could be a fit. You can learn from them, even if they’re ultimately a no.

2. Be honest about, and unafraid of, your weaknesses. Instead of dwelling on them, recognize other skills that help fill those gaps and leverage your unique strengths and authentic interests.

3. Know what gives you energy. Notice what fills your tank and what empties it.

There are many more but these are a start. For the whole 34 minute conversation, listen (or watch!) here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxLGSJl06zc&t=1009s

Have any additional anti-fragile traits that you’ve honed over time? Comment here or email us at hello@thecrabwalk.com anytime.

5 steps to leverage who you already know to move forward in your career

Regardless of your age, experience, or stature, making a transition in your work can be so painful. It takes effort, creates ambiguity, and forces change in your life. There’s uncertainty. Imposter syndrome is ever present. Your life is impacted. The lives of people you love are impacted. 

It’s like a jigsaw puzzle you’re trying to solve without knowing what the final picture should look like. And you’re terrified that when you finally commit and piece things together, you’ll regret the decisions you made when the picture becomes clear.

Through Crabwalk, we’re aiming to make career transitions so much easier and less risky. And we’re doing that by teaching you the skills and benefits of involving the people you already know along the way.

When you include others in a strategic way in any work transitions, it will not only make it less lonely and more fun, but a whole lot faster. Why is that? The reasons are endless, but a few: 

• You’ll spend less time in your head

• You’ll open your eyes to game-changing ideas and solutions you never knew existed

• You’ll find an opportunity that you didn’t know you could ever dream of

• You’ll have the support and accountability that keeps you going

It doesn’t matter if you think you have lots of friends OR if you say you’re connected to just your family and a few close friends. We guarantee you know more people than you think and we’ll give you the skills to reconnect or reach to people that seem almost impossible to right now.

Want to learn how to leverage who you already know to move your career forward?

That’s the secret sauce we teach at Crabwalk. Let’s go.

Give Crabwalk a try and get unstuck.

Start by taking just 5 minutes to think of one area in your work where you’re currently feeling stuck.

It doesn’t matter how big or small it is. It doesn’t have to be final or perfect. Any area will do for this exercise. Then follow along with the framework below and fill out this worksheet along with us (just make a copy first so you can edit it as you go).

Need some help? Emails us your worksheet with any and all questions! We’d be happy to help you along. Interested in taking this further? Sign-up for our newsletter to hear about upcoming workshops and free webinars.

The Simple 5-Step Crabwalk Framework

STEP 1:  Create your Ideal Outcome

Why this matters: 

If you don’t know what you’re going after, you’re more likely to feel overwhelmed when deciding what step to make next. How can you win the game if you don’t know what winning looks like? How can you move forward if you don’t know which direction takes you where you want to go?

If you feel lost as you do this exercise, always come back to this step.

Exercise:

• Take 10 minutes to think about these questions: What would success look like in this area 90 days from now? What would the impact be?

• Then write your answer in Step 1 in the worksheet.

Tips: 

• Pick one goal to start. It doesn’t matter if it’s perfect or the “right goal.” Success is writing down a goal (hint: your goal can be to get clarity on what a good goal would be). That’s it.

• Have more than one goal? Put them on separate list and come back to them. You can do this exercise over and over again with different goals

• Make your goal specific — or “SMART” — Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-oriented

STEP 2: Assess the progress you’ve already made and where you’re getting stopped

Why this matters: 

If you don’t assess where you’re at now, how can you know what you need to do next? If Michael Phelps is falling short of his swimming record, you think his coach just took a random guess at what to fix on Day 1? Probably not. Ever have someone try to fix your problems without ever asking you any questions? Same thing. Not usually very productive.

Start first by outlining everything that you’re doing towards reaching your goal. Daily workouts? Healthy diet? Great form? From there, write down where you’re getting stopped. What are the gaps to fill? 

Maybe you’re getting stopped because of a lack of knowledge, money, accountability, connections, advice, clarity, new ideas, etc. Or maybe anxiety and imposter syndrome have been getting in your way. Or a lack of confidence that you can do it at all. All of those are legit. And may change overtime. That’s A-OK, very common and something you can overcome. The first part is getting specific about what it is that’s even stopping you.

We’ve included some examples in Step 2 of the worksheet. Now your turn.

Exercise:

• Write down 5-10 things you’ve done towards reaching your goal (hint: one is you’re reading this blog post right now…)

• Write down at least 3 concrete things that are getting you stopped

• For each area that you’re getting stopped, think about the following:

  • What’s one thing that would help you get unstopped in this area?

  • Who comes to mind that you could ask to help you get unstopped.

  • What's the best way to reach out to them?

  • When will I realistically do this? How will I make sure I do it?

Tips:

• Include anything and everything that is contributing to you reaching your goal. Don’t hold back! Write down anything that comes to mind. It helps to remind yourself that you’ve actually done quite a bit.

• Include one area where you’re getting stopped in each row. Get really specific.

• Not sure how to reach out to people who could help you? Keep moving on to Steps 3, 4 and 5 below!

STEP 3: Create your Crabwalk Roster

Why this matters:

There’s no way we can do 100% of things on our own. We need to work with others. If we’re looking to lean on others for help, we need to remember who we even know. Without writing it down, it’s too many names to remember. The human brain will limit you to whoever was most recent or most impactful. Start by blowing that list wide open.

Exercise:

• Set aside 20-30 minutes to fill out this Step 3 - Roster Template. Good news: you only have to do this once and then it’s easy to maintain! Just keep adding names as they come to mind It’s so worth it. The names that pop up will surprise you and be eternally helpful down the road. Instructions are included in the template.

Tips:

• Set a timer for 20 minutes - don’t stop until the timer is done. Keep writing!

• Start by writing out all the communities you are apart of like: college, home town, 1st job, internship, volleyball league, book group, religious organizations

• Include groups from your past, present and future.

• Don’t worry if you’ve lost touch. Anyone and everyone you’ve had a connection with, or plan to have a connection with, can and should land on your roster.

STEP 4: Nurture your Roster

Why this matters:

If you’re not building relationships, how could you leverage them? If you’ve never talked to your neighbor, it would be weird to walk over and ask them to feed your cat for the weekend. If you’ve been working on that relationship, you trust them, they trust you, that ask is much easier.

It’s the same reason why it’s easier to ask an ex-boss for a connection versus someone you just met at the buffet table at that one networking event. Work with the people you already have and do it in a genuine, kind, respectful, and authentic way.

Exercise:

• Outline how you already nurture relationships and create 2 new nurture routines for people on your Crabwalk Roster. You can use this template in Step 4 of the worksheet.

• The nurture routine should include: 

  • What’s natural and easy for you.

  • How you already communicate with them and what’s authentic and genuine.

  • A list of possible nurture activities (like grabbing coffee, or inviting them to take a walk, or sending them a card on their birthday)

Tips: 

• Think about people who could be really helpful for you in helping you get over where you’re stopped

• Be authentic to you (don’t go out for coffee if you don’t like coffee!)

• Match the nurture activity to the person you’re nurturing (not everyone will want to be nurtured in the same way or frequency)

STEP 5: Make the Ask!

Why this matters: 

If you don’t ask for what you need, people will not give it to you. Sounds so simple. Yet sometimes it feels so hard. This exercise will hopefully make it easier.

The only way to know if people will help, is if you ask. They may say no, but that’s ok. Your only job is to ask. As you get better, the likelihood of someone saying yes may increase. But that’s it. Start asking today. Don’t wait to be perfect. It gets easier over time, we promise.

Exercise

• Outline one ask for someone that would get you unstuck in reaching your Ideal Outcome! You can use the template in Step 5 for this, but make it your own. Hint: Go back to your Step 1 where you outlined where you were stopped. What could unstop you? Who on your Roster could help you with that? What would the ask be? That’s the ask you’re outlining here.

Tips:

• Match the ask to the person you’re talking to - make sure it’s an appropriate ask for that person and your relationship to that person.

• Know that sometimes the answer will be “no” and that’s ok! Go on to ask someone else.

• If you get a bunch of no’s, you can run the ask by a trusted friend to see if there’s anything they would recommend you could tweak with it. Be open to feedback. They want to help.

How did you do?

Congrats on getting through the 5-Step Framework! How did you do? Fill out our 1-minute quiz below!

Some of you will be naturals at nurturing but not confident in your asks. Others will know what they want and yet feel like they’ve exhausted their connections. And some of you will feel like you’re a novice or a pro at it all. That’s all perfect! Wherever you are is great.

Take stock so you know where you can focus your energy going forward. Plus, you’ll help us create helpful materials for you.

Take the 1-minute Quiz

Crabwalk Framework Quiz

Looking for some additional help? We’re here!

We host office hours, free webinars, extended workshops and 1:1 coaching. You can also sign up for our newsletter to get periodic emails with tools, stories, upcoming programming, etc. Or email us anytime at hello@thecrabwalk.com with your worksheet or just some questions / stories / feedback. We’d love to hear from you!